So, we’ve missed several days of blogging thanks to production on a soon-to-be-uploaded Art of Bleeding video. What’s it about, you say? Well, the above image is intended as a hint.
No, it’s not a porn video, but like the good Dr. von Hagens, we know how to get your attention. Look for the new AoB Bodyworlds-inspired video on this site sometime later next month.
And while we’re on the topic of von Hagen’s plastinated “Reverse Cowgirl”…
In response to a 2009 controversy over this particular exhibit, a sulky von Hagens told the media he would saw the bodies off at the waists, presenting the conjoined male/female organs in more clinical isolation. He is depicted here “dispelling controversy” (?) by waving a prop saw around the couple. Unclear whether he ever actually fulfilled this threat.
After a few moments of wild disorientation (unless you speak Japanese) you will have eventually realized the “woman” in the dental chair is a robot used for teaching dental students. Along with a few speech functions, and realistic oral musculature, her teeth are embedded with sensors or virtual nerves that trigger a yowl of pain if the student fumbles with the drill. That response earned her the pop media nickname “Pain Girl,” back in 2007 when she was introduced, but her inventors preferred the rather unpleasant-sounding coinage “simroid,” a contraction of “simulator” and “humanoid.”
And not that you asked, but this is what she’d look like if you skinned her.
Of course that was four years ago, and we suspect Pain Girl has finished with her dental treatment and moved on to a more lucrative career in adult entertainment. Meanwhile simulation robotics marches on, and the formerly shocking robotic mouth introduced in 2010, is now only of interest when incorporated into bizarre novelty videos, such as this frightening example, which uses the mouth’s caterwauling to “narrate” video of this birthing simulator.
(Thanks to our friend Stephen Worth of the Animation Archive for tipping us off on the mouth/birthing simulator remix).
It was 15 years ago last month that Viagra was patented, which means those of us over the age of 15 have endured that many years of tiresome Viagra jokes. And it shows no signs of letting up as demonstrated by last week’s promotion of the Viagra-laced Royal Virility Performance Ale tagged with slogan “Arise Prince Willy.”
Of course sometimes taking a joke too far is just what makes it funny, and it’s hard to fault a man with the chutzpah to put himself into the joke the way this man has put himself into his handcrafted Canadian Viagra costume.
Perhaps the only consumer item with a more depleted of comic potential would be Spam, so it should come as no surprise that those drawn to Spam humor might attempt to reinvigorate that topic with a dose of the blue magic. This is how we get things like Viagra Spam Mousse or Spam Musubi.
To be fair, here again there is pleasingly maniacal passion for detail. The “VGR 50” imprint in the mousse above, for instance, is obtained by first crafting a mold made by impressing a Viagra shaped paperweight into paraffin.
The paperweight, which can be found on eBay, is one of the more dignified examples of Viagra inspired novelties one could buy there. The worst, perhaps, is this inexplicable Viagra Cone Hat. And it’s available at a special “close-out price”! Go figure.
If 15 years of this is just too much for you, and you share our fashionable hatred of Viagra jokes and the evil pharmaceutical companies that spawn them, there’s always the natural alternative — one that doesn’t feel compelled to work for your laughs. Horny Goat Weed is confident in its own absurdity.
Back before they had silicon and RealDolls, if you wanted to build a woman, you had limited choices. But this did not deter Madam Du Coudray, an inventive midwife intent on sharing her knowledge of obstetrics with ignorant provincials through models.
She took great care in reproducing the firmness and flexibility of genuine female anatomy. To that end, a fairly sophisticated system of leather straps with wood and iron framing was employed. But the best part has been revealed by contemporary X-rays. Beneath the fabric and stuffing, lending a distinctly natural shape to the form, is the pelvic bone of a young woman.
This one comes from Japan, and the website demurs on price, so we can presume it’s in the “if you have to ask… (then you’re probably some kind of pervert not affiliated with any legitimate institution of learning)…range.
But by jingo, look what she comes with: lifelike fetus with rubbery amniotic sac, interchangeable vaginal openings to simulate various gauge love tunnels, breasts and abdomen that respond realistically to diagnostic palpation, and replaceable soft silicon insets to practice suturing up those nasty perineal tears so you won’t have to practice on a sherbet-colored block of whipped Jell-O.
And she cleans up easy! According to her FAQ, just a quick sponging with detergent or ethanol followed by a baby powder pat down should do the job.
As if they’d already anticipated some sort of twisted Hans Bellmer torture session, they warn, “being a model there will be no complaints if roughly handled. Do not push or pull the model with unreasonable force.”
So if you had your heart set on a screaming model, you may be disappointed, but they’re still eager for your business.
“If you live in Japan, we also keep some models that can be provided on a loan basis.”